Can love languages help create better teams and more satisfying careers?
After reading Dr. Gary Chapman’s 1992 couple’s self-help classic, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, I couldn’t stop thinking about applying the idea of love languages to work.
Although we rarely speak about our jobs in these terms, they are often complex mental, emotional, and spiritual undertakings, laden with social expectations – just like our intimate relationships.
We may pay lip service to concepts like “Work to live, don’t live to work,” but in practice, many of us expect our careers to define our desirability, give us a platform for self-expression, unlock the power of collaboration, and give us a sense of purpose—all while giving us safety and stability.
It’s no wonder that millions haven’t found the work they feel is right for them. And because our occupation is much of what occupies our focus as an adult, those disheartening feelings can multiply.
But instead of settling for an unsatisfactory work life, what if you could learn the love languages and transform it?
Teams often fracture under the weight of a non-caring culture. After all, people do the work, and if people don’t feel like they are being treated with care, kindness, or appreciation—and especially if they and their efforts are met with apathy, dismissiveness, and coldness—they do not do their best work. Sometimes they even get resentful and stop doing their work altogether. A team of resentful people doesn’t produce stellar collaboration, incredible outcomes, and long-range individual satisfaction.
If you are a leader, you can theoretically change that, by applying love languages to help your team members feel appreciated, safe, understood, important, and secure. If it’s your boss who is responsible for company culture, that’s beyond your control, but knowing your love language can help you make change or find the place that’s right for you.
Here is my take on Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages, in the context of work. If you are enticed by these ideas, feel free to experiment with them and report back what you discover!
Chart (c) Copyright 2023, The Business Healer.
What is your work love language, and does your company or team speak it?
What is the effect?
