Does rest feel unsafe? How to break free from overworking
I was 4,600 miles away from home, in Paris. But I was not enjoying the City of Lights.
I was staring at my laptop, feeling guilty because I hadn't sent an important email.
My husband was ready to explore the city. Fresh croissants and famous sights were calling. But I wasn't allowing myself to enjoy it. Because I just had to send that email.
Then, for 24 hours, my body revolted. There were chills, aches, nausea--and although I longed to sample the delicious cheeses and pastries I'd been looking forward to for months, leaving the Airbnb wasn't in the cards.
That was one memorable moment where I let work get out of hand. But there were many others: skipping bathroom breaks and meals, taking every meeting with every lead out of fear, obsessing over multipage proposals when a simple email would have sufficed, bending over backwards for toxic clients until I got physically ill.
When success doesn't feel like enough
Overall, life felt good! I had built a business I was proud of. I felt energized by my purpose. My bank account was healthy.
But there was very little space for the things that make life worthwhile: quality time with friends and family, rest, pleasure, presence, adventure.
It turns out, even though my own body knew, I was the last to recognize that I had an overworking problem.
This aha came when a client in my advanced prosperity mastermind set her goal for the program: To fit her business into her life--not live the other way around.
🤯 I knew that her goal was meant for me, too.
The real problem behind overworking
The problem behind my overworking wasn't time management or over-commitment.
It was the emotional patterns running beneath the surface: a fear of not having enough, perfectionism, a productivity obsession, an inability to stop.
These patterns were obvious to others, and invisible to me. But they were costing me health, relationships, and actual joy.
Recently, I allowed myself to be purposefully "unproductive" yet present while traveling. Something unexpected happened: I had better ideas. Breakthrough ideas flowed. My clients met huge milestones. I slept better. I stopped working by 7pm.
And my business revenue grew. (!!)
Now I prioritize "monk time" through social time, slow mornings, and fun. I work fewer hours and bring in more dollars because I'm not operating from depletion and fear.
The four overworking archetypes
Below are the four most common overworking patterns. Do any feel familiar?
The Perfectionist: believes everything must be flawless before they can rest. This drives endless revision and the feeling that nothing is ever "good enough."
The Productivity Addict: has linked their worth to their output. Any moment of rest triggers anxiety because they believe their value disappears when they're not producing.
The People Pleaser: is terrified of disappointing others, so they overdeliver constantly. Saying "no" feels like risking rejection and lost opportunities.
The Prosperity Blocker: carries unconscious beliefs that struggle equals earning. They're working harder to prove they "deserve" what they have.
Each pattern signals the specific thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that keep you stuck. You can start creating more while working less--not through grinding, but through alignment.
My client Shane was obsessed with productivity, believing he needed to push through for success to happen. Through our work together, he transformed his relationship with time itself. As he put it: "I've had the thought that the right one thought is worth more than a thousand hours of deep productivity."
A practice to identify your pattern
If you'd like to identify YOUR overworking pattern, try this:
Set a timer for 5 minutes and write without stopping: "I overwork because I'm afraid that..."
Read what you wrote and circle the fear that feels most true.
Ask yourself: "When did I first learn this? Who taught me this was true?"
Take three deep breaths and practice this affirmation: "My worth is not tied to my work. I am valuable simply because I exist."
Throughout your day, notice when the urge to overwork arises. What triggers it? What are you actually afraid of? Notice and breathe.
At week's end, review your patterns and connect the dots between emotional triggers and overworking behaviors. This awareness alone creates space for change.
So, what could be possible for you if the emotional patterns keeping you trapped in overworking were no longer running the show?
If you're ready to break these patterns and transform your relationship with prosperity, Pathway to Prosperity creates space for exactly this kind of breakthrough. Our next cohort begins in 2026.
About the author:
Marte Siebenhar is The Business Healer. She helps purpose-driven leaders and small business owners transform their relationship with abundance using mindset and energy work. Her signature Pathway to Prosperity program combines practical business strategy with energetic transformation. Learn more about the program here.
